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Tactical Appropriation and Christian Warfare

Of late I have been intentionally abrasive on social media. There are multiple reasons for this. One of the more simple reasons was to test a defensive and offensive tactic. Distilled into an abstract term, it can be described as Tactical Appropriation.

Tactical Appropriation is a method which you can adopt to achieve devastating results against your opponents.


Christian Warfare

The premise of tactical appropriation is to appropriate all tactics used by your enemy and use them to defend yourself, usually via counterattack. It is near in kinship to a tactic summed up by the old adage, “the best defense is a good offense.”

But it is much better summed up  by the Bible: “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.

Anyone familiar with the Bible may remember that Jesus had some choice word to say about this concept during his famous “Sermon on the Mount.” Without going into a long debate concerning Jesus’ more “celestial” or “heavenly” law compared to Moses’ “terrestrial,” and “temporal” law, all I will say on the subject is that Moses’ law reflects Jesus’ law.  The idea is the same for both: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Or as Jesus put his second greatest commandment, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Moses law attempted to circumvent sin and crime via lex talionis. If you committed a crime, the punishment would be equivalent to what you did to your neighbor.

Gouge out an eye, and you get your eye gouged out.

Jesus tried to circumvent sin and crime using the same concept. If you love your neighbor as yourself, and don’t want your eye gouged out, then don’t gouge out your neighbor’s eye. He advocated for a spiritual precondition rather than temporal punishment post factum.

The other aspect of this is the concept of turning the other cheek. I will just point out now that it is not wrong to turn the other cheek.

It is also not wrong to retaliate in self-defense.

Jesus’ celestial or heavenly law generally has the reputation of being more merciful than the law of Moses and less retaliatory. Paradoxically, it’s even worse for the original perpetrator of a crime or sin to have his victim return kindness for evil.

If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink; For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

In fact, it could be argued that by not retaliating you are making it worse for your enemy than by literally defending yourself from his attacks.

By not retaliating, you are condemning your enemy to a fate worse than death. Turning your cheek is already a form of retaliation.

If someone attacks you, or attacks your beliefs, you have the moral prerogative to retaliate.

When you defend yourself from attack, you are morally and ethically authorized to use any and every method and tactic which your enemy first uses against you. This is the law as interpreted by both Moses and Jesus.

Martyrs are, of course, rewarded in heaven more handsomely than those who died fighting for a righteous cause. But nobody wants to die, and nobody likes losing.

Very few people have what it takes to be a martyr. As an every day Joe, you should develop an ability to defend yourself.

One way of defending yourself is via Tactical Appropriation.

Tactical Appropriation is the method necessary to successfully defend against a ruthless attacker.

Your enemies are ruthless. They will escalate their tactics to overwhelm and defeat you.

If they use rhetoric to attack you, use rhetoric to attack them. If they insult you, insult them back. If they pull a knife on you, pull a knife on them. If they pull a gun, draw your own gun.

Remember, you are not trying to get revenge. Defending yourself is not revenge.

Defend yourself successfully by using their own tactics against them. Do not escalate until they escalate. You aren’t limited to their tactics, you are only limited by their level of escalation.

Once your enemy crosses the line, you have officially lost ground and are in the process of being invaded. You must cross the line in retaliation and take back every inch you lost, or you will lose it forever. The best defense is a good offense.

In order to retake lost ground, you must be willing to invade enemy territory.

Sometimes escalation is unavoidable. In order to win your battles, you must escalate to at least the same degree as your opponent. When your enemy attacked you, they already threw kindness out the window. It is not kind to attack someone.

In order to defeat your attacker, you must also throw kindness out the window. War, by its very nature, is unkind and cruel. Therefore, wage war like a soldier of Christ and reestablish Christendom. Turning your cheek is an option only if you wish to be a martyr.

But to be a martyr, you have to die first.

I suggest you fight, and live.


The Author of “The Farting Princess and the Brave Prince” Needs Help!

Today’s post is going to be shortish (Hooray!), but not particularly funny (Drat!). First, I’d like to draw your attention to the new update schedule for The Playground, which will now update every Tuesday and Friday instead of every Tuesday and Thursday (and sometimes Saturday). I have several reasons for the change, the main one being that I was a day late for both of the last posts I need a bit more time to imagine and create better content for you, my readers. Plus I can do whatever I want on my blog, so suck it up. Thursdays are just a little too close to Tuesdays for me to work effectively, in my opinion.

Second, a friend and writing colleague of mine needs help. His name is Harvey Seibel, and he is the notorious author of The Farting Princess and the Brave Prince, which has been mentioned on this blog before, albeit briefly. He has finished several books already, which is more than my zero finished books, so I hate him writing primarily in the children’s fantasy genre, with such titles as The Enchanted Kingdom…

The Enchanted Kingdom

 Andy Andrews and the Adventure of the 13th Princess…

The picture is a bit grainy. It looks better in person.

The picture is a bit grainy. It looks better in person.

or titles like Dishwashers Inc., and Tamar and the Camera from Morocco, along with a delightful collection of short stories titled Me and Poophead Penelope…

He's got a bit of a recurring theme, it seems (farting, poop, princesses).

He’s got a bit of a recurring theme, it seems (farting, poop, princesses).

His latest novel is titled Born Lucky, and, in his own words, is about “one very unlucky guy.” It’s an entertaining read, and he’s all set to get it into print except for one problem.

He needs a book cover.

Well, actually he’s got like sixty book covers, but he can’t decide which one he wants. He’s narrowed it down to the number of fingers on his right hand (seven) but would like input from more people because he wants to choose the best cover he possibly can.

And that’s where you come in!

His top five designs (I may have exaggerated about the number of fingers on his right hand) are up on a poll, waiting for your votes to be cast. All you have to do is follow this link here or maybe this link or even THIS LINK, and take ten or fifteen seconds to rate each design or even just your favorite design. Any little feedback helps, and a lot of feedback helps more. You can rate just one, or all of them, or even provide comments on the designs. If you wanted to, you could even sign up to see which design wins at the end of the polling period. And if none of those links above worked for you, here is the full link, which you can either click on or copy and paste into your web browser: https://99designs.com/book-cover-design/vote-7miqrd

Whatever you do, no matter how small, Harvey would love to see your opinions. So click on those links and get voting! It’s not everyday you get to help choose a book cover!

And for good measure, here’s the link to the Born Lucky design poll one last time. The author of The Farting Princess and the Brave Prince needs your help, so please take a few seconds to vote if you can! https://99designs.com/book-cover-design/vote-7miqrd

On a related note, if any of Harvey’s book titles piqued your interest and you couldn’t find a way to purchase them via the Interweb, that’s because they’re not on the Interweb (yet). If you do want to purchase a copy of any titles mentioned, please email me at thechildlikeauthor at hotmail dot com and I will be happy to arrange both payment and method of shipment. (NOTE: Shipping is not free.) They are all wonderful and wholesome reads, especially for a middle school audience. The stories are literally class-room tested by a horde of 5th and 6th graders, and the kids LOVED Andy Andrews and the Adventure of the 13th Princess, as well as Me and Poophead Penelope. So if you’ve got a child or children in that age group, they will want to read these even if they don’t know it yet. (Why an established publishing house has not yet picked the stories up for publishing is beyond me.) Your kid will like them, and you just might enjoy them, too.

Infinite Monkey Theorem


CLICK to Enlarge Image

CLICK to Enlarge Image

Monkey Typing


The Childlike Author Feels… Lustful

Lustful [luhst-fuh l]
– having strong sexual desires; lecherous; libidinous.

This is something that most normal people feel, but that many avoid admitting. Probably because they think if they do admit it, it will somehow make them seem shallow, or less credible, or less respectable, or in general just a bad person.

I, however, am here to tell you that if you’ve experienced lust, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Because that’s biology talkin’, trying to tell to you that your species will die out if you don’t procreate.

First off, your species will not die out if you don’t procreate because plenty of other people are doing a whole lot of procreation, so much so that there are approximately four births per second.

Compared to less than two deaths per second, our little human race is gaining a net 213,120 individuals every day, and a total of 371,520 newborns.

That’s a lot.

CLICK to Enlarge Image

CLICK to Enlarge Image

But consider this: The women giving birth each second cannot give birth for another nine months because of the unavoidable gestational period. This means that for nine month intervals, every newborn that pops out is a child of a unique mother! That’s a total of 100,310,400 unique mothers in only three quarters of a year.*

And for every mother, you gotta have a father.

So double it to 200,620,800.**

That’s a lot of people who’ve experienced lust. And not only did they experience it, but they acted on it.

Except it doesn’t even begin to add up to the real figure.


The Childlike Author Feels… Contempt

Contempt [kuh n-tempt]
– the feeling with which a person regards anything considered mean, vile, or worthless; disdain; scorn.

Have you ever seen one of those legal thrillers in which the judge threatens to hold a character in contempt of court? I’ve always wondered why they use the term “contempt,” and so I’ve got two theories. Keep in mind that I’m no lawyer, and certainly no etymologist.

My first theory is based in the supposition that the justice of the peace is an honorable person. That’s why he or she is referred to as “Your Honor,” as in, “Yes, Your Honor, I did commit the murder with the bloody axe in evidence. I still plead innocent.” It turns out that a secondary definition of contempt is “the state of being despised; dishonor; disgrace.” (My personal favorite definition is “disapproval tinged with disgust.” Also, why the heck do I even have a favorite definition?) Anyway, it stands to reason that if someone present in court were to dishonor the judge, who is clearly honorable as his or her nickname suggests, then that someone doing the dishonoring would be contemptible, deserving of or held in contempt. Hence the court holds them in contempt.